Great Illustration of the Principle of Self Reliance

A friend of mine is in Dharamsala, India doing a field for anthropology. He recently shared on his blog an experience that perfectly illustrates the principle of self reliance. I thought it would be appropriate to share it with you.

Finally, beggars. I think they know to come to McLeod Ganj because of all the Western travellers here, and the influx of these visitors is probably constant enough that many of the panhandlers probably do okay. After wrestling with the beggar question for a few weeks I've decided, thanks to Ben our local Great Mind, that I'm going to give to one beggar a day. And today I had already given when two adolescent boys, Indians, approached me and held out very dirty hands. Now this is always a very uncomfortable situation, but I knew that I meant the very best in telling myself I would make it a point to give to someone each and every day, and I felt at ease telling these kids that I was sorry, but I couldn't today. Tomorrow was a possibility, but not today. They wouldn't take no for an answer, as is the practice among Indians (and not just beggars, I've found - it's something cultural), and came up to sit next to me on the steps where I was taking some notes on my observations. They watched me write for a while and periodically pressed me to give them some money, meeting my refusal each time. There was some obvious disagreement between them as to what they should do next, and one of them just stayed seated next to me while I wrote as the other went back into the narrow street in front of us to continue begging. He did so for a while, to no avail until the monotony was broken by a tourist-looking guy who gave the boy two sticks of gum, one for him and one for his friend whom the tourist saw sitting next to me. The kid came from the street already popping his share of the booty into his mouth and handed my companion the other piece. I looked at the kid and said, "Don't chew that." He was puzzled. I put my fingers together to my lips (meaning 'food' or 'eating' in India) and then shook a slightly raised hand, palm showing, meaning 'no'. "Don't chew that." He didn't. He sat there and pondered over his earnings, toying with the wrapper. I continued. "You can sell it. Sell. Give gum to someone for money," and I pointed to the dozen-or-so people passing by. "Sell it." He looked confused, maybe understanding but hesitating nonetheless. I reached into my pocket and just hoped as hard as I could that there would be a rupee in there. There was. I pulled the coin out and showed it to him. "Here," I said. "I'll buy it." He understood immediately and quickly put the gum into my hand, taking the money from my fingers.

When he did that I saw, just for a second, a real life in his eyes that hadn't been there before. They got really wide and just lit up. Maybe he was seeing this situation in a way he'd never seen it before. Or maybe he was just excited to have some money. Either way, I think begging - when done with the mentality that I, the beggar, am purely a victim with no chioce or agency or ownership or responsibility in what I do about this situation - can really deaden the humanity inside a person. Something about this interaction between the boy and me had was felt like an awakening effect on the kid - I could actually see it happen, just in a flash like that. (Most of the Tibetans I've seen begging, by the way, have somehow escaped that. They seem awfully at peace with what's going on in their lives - something that's surprised and puzzled and relieved me a bit these past two days.)

I don't think I'm any kind of hero for doing this, but it felt like it was at least a creative and potentially productive alternative to just saying 'no', which is all I had been able to do before. And seeing that kid's eyes widen and light up like they did... I wonder what could come out of this. Something really good, maybe - like maybe he learned something important. Or maybe even something really bad, like that they should steal stuff now and try to sell it themselves. In any case, I hope you'll agree that it was worth a shot.